The Harry Potter Characters Truth or Dare
by Chickie
Summary: Title self-explanatory. Just trying to have a little fun here, so it's nothing personal to the devoted fans of any of the characters... Please R/R! :o)
1. Chapter the First

The HP Characters Truth or Dare  
  
By: Chickie  
  
*we see the HP characters (Harry, Hermione, Ron and Malfoy) in a dark room with no windows and no doors… Spooky*  
  
Harry: Where are we?  
  
Hermione: Isn't it obvious? This is another fanfic.  
  
Everyone minus Hermione: *groans*  
  
*the door opens and a girl with dark hair and a wand comes in*  
  
Chickie: Hello. *evil grin*  
  
Malfoy: Hi. (slightly nervous  
  
Everyone but Malfoy: *smiles nervously*  
  
Chickie: That's right. Be afraid. Be very afraid. *evil grin grows wider*  
  
Hermione: W-w-hy a-are we h-h-here?  
  
Chickie: Shut up you idiot, although I suppose that I will have to answer your question if I ever expect to see you guys doing anything. *cheerful smile* All of you will be playing a little muggle game called 'Truth or Dare'.  
  
Harry: *eyes grow wider* TRUTH OR DARE?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! HAVE MERCY!!  
  
Chickie: Sorry, but that's not in the job description.  
  
Ron: What's the matter Harry? It doesn't sound that bad.  
  
Chickie: *rolls eyes* "Ignorance is bliss"  
  
Hermione: T-truth o-o-r d-d-d-d-are? *groans*  
  
Malfoy: Please explain this game. It is probably as stupid as those foul muggles anyway. *cowers as Chickie raises an eyebrow at him*  
  
Chickie: Ask *Victor Krum imitation ahead* 'Herm-o-ninny' or Potter. They'll know. Although they probably wish they didn't…  
  
*as Harry and Hermione explain the concept and the rules of 'Truth or Dare' Chickie whistles innocently*  
  
Malfoy: Muggles actually like this game?!?!  
  
Ron: *is now as pale as Malfoy*  
  
Chickie: You guys ready? *evil grin*  
  
Harry: Can I go first?  
  
Chickie: Unfortunately, that's a privilege reserved only for authors. Who should I pick…? *points at Hermione* HERMIONE!!  
  
Hermione:EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!W-wh-what?  
  
Chickie: Use your head, girl!! Truth or Dare?  
  
Hermione: Um-ah-er-I mean…  
  
Chickie: Before you make your decision, let me fix the settings for our little adventure… *waves her wand*  
  
*the HP characters are now in the (empty) Gryffindor common room*  
  
Chickie: There. Now, Grungy- I mean, Granger, Truth or Dare?  
  
Hermione: Truth? No, Dare! ::I would be laughed out of Hogwarts if they asked anything too personal!::  
  
Chickie: So it's a dare then… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I dare you to… Rip one of your textbooks in half. And then burn the halves. MWAHAHA  
  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hermione: No. No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Chickie: Sorry. It's in the rules. Do it or its Truth.  
  
Hermione: Fine! *whimpers*  
  
Harry: *whips a video camera out of thin air* I've got to see this!  
  
Ron: Go for it Herm-o-ninny!! By the way, is that Krum's pet name for you? *laughs insanely*  
  
Hermione: Shut up Ron!! Harry put that camera away!!! *grabs a textbook*  
  
*as Hermione rips her beloved textbook in half, complete with tortured look, Ron and Draco make the Gryffindor common room echo with maniacal laughter*  
  
Harry: *videotaping Hermione's torture session*  
  
Hermione: *sobbing hysterically as she throws the halves of her textbook in to the flames of the fireplace* There!! Are you happy?!?! *looks at Chickie*  
  
Chickie: *Dissaparates*  
  
Hermione: WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU OFF TO, YOU FRICKIN' AUTHOR?!?! I PICK YOU!!!! TRUTH OR DARE?!?!  
  
(Chickie ~Since I'm not there you can't pick me. *sticks out her tongue*)  
  
Hermione: ARGHH!!! *looks around the common room looking for revenge* RON!!! TRUTH OR DARE?!?!  
  
Ron: Truth. I have no secrets.  
  
Hermione: Answer this or prepare to suffer the consequences: Do you hate girls?  
  
Ron: YES!! I-I- mean…um… mostly… Actually…. Not really…  
  
Hermione: YES OR NO, RON!!! ANSWER NOW!!  
  
Ron: NO!  
  
Harry: *still videotaping*  
  
Malfoy: *turns to Harry* Give me a copy of that tape.  
  
Harry: Sure.  
  
Ron: Oh. Man. Shouldn't have said that…  
  
Hermione: HAHAHAHAHA!!! REVENGE TASTES SO SWEET!!!  
  
(Chickie ~I didn't know revenge had a taste. I didn't know that you could even eat revenge.)  
  
Ron: *now as red as his hair* Shuttup. Malfoy. Truth or Dare?  
  
Malfoy: Dare. I'm not a sissy like you, Weirdly.  
  
Ron: Kiss Hermione. Go on, do it then.  
  
Malfoy: *smacks Hermione on the lips**smoothly switches his smack to a passionate kiss*  
  
Hermione: *eyes way wider then normal*  
  
Harry: *still videotaping*  
  
Ron: Whoa! That'll give me nightmares for about a week!  
  
Malfoy: *wipes his mouth with the back of his hand* No problem. I did it in a fanfic once, remember?  
  
Ron: Oh, yeah. *sigh* And I thought that you would have to live with the memory of your first kiss...  
  
Malfoy: *shrugs* So, Harry Potty. *evil smile* Truth or Dare?  
  
Harry: Dare. How bad can it be?  
  
  
  
How bad can it be? Will Draco think of a decent Dare? Stay tuned and find out! Review while you're at it! 


	2. Chapter the Second

The Harry Potter Characters Truth or Dare (Part 2)  
  
By: Chickie  
  
When we last left our favorite characters, Draco Malfoy was thinking up some form of horrible torture- I mean, thinking up a dare for our little Harry…  
  
Draco: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My dare is…  
  
*Crickets chirping in the background, as there is a long, lingering pause*  
  
Hermione: … It's what?  
  
Draco: Umm… er… I know! Go out to the lake and DROP YOUR PANTS!!  
  
Harry: WHAT?!?!?! But then again… I *DO* have a cute ass…  
  
Hermione: You sure do… I mean, uh… *blush, blush*  
  
Ron: Hey, since you're gonna do a dare, I'll just borrow that camera, okay?  
  
Harry: Okay. I don't mind if you videotape my wonderfully British ass. I want the world to see it anyway, what with the release of my new movie (Harry Potter: The Boy Who Has A Wonderfully British Ass) coming up sometime in the near past. *Hands Ron the camera*  
  
(Chickie ~~ Here we go…)  
  
*Everyone is now beside the lake*  
  
Ron: *Videotaping*  
  
Harry: Everyone… BEHOLD!!! *Drops his pants* MY ASS!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Ron: *zooms in to Harry's Ass*  
  
Hermione: It's so… Beautiful… *sighs* *drool, drool*  
  
Draco: *raises an eyebrow* Ooookay…  
  
*From the lake comes a huge tentacle that latches on to Harry's Ass*  
  
Harry: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE RUINING IT!!!!!!!! I'LL HAVE TO GET ASS SURGERY!!!!!! AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
*The Giant Squid's tentacle wraps around Harry and drags him to the bottom of the lake*  
  
Giant Squid: *drag, drag*  
  
Harry: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! *Blub, blub*  
  
Giant Squid: Hey honey, I just caught our dinner!  
  
Hermione: Harry!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Oh Harry, we were supposed to get married, have kids, and adopt a purple kangaroo!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ron: Oh well. He was a good friend… NOT!!! WHAT A LOSER!!! I am SO glad he's gone.  
  
Draco: *now has curly hair, like… well… Justin Timberlake* Yeah, BYEBYEBYE… BYEBYE! I had enough, and it ain't no lie… BYEBYE!!! *everything's black and white just like in the "Gone" video* So glad you're GONE… ohhh… GONE *Background is like in the video "Pop"* My head was about to POP!!  
  
(Chickie ~~ Hee hee… Draco with curly hair… hee hee… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!)  
  
Ron: Cool! I can market this video of Draco-Timberlake to Lou Pearlman and make TONS and TONS of MONEY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! All those teenyboppers will pay THOUANDS just to get his leftover food!!! *Curls up in a little ball, rocking back and forth, with his eyes replaced by Dollar signs* Money… money… money…  
  
Hermione: Hey!!! Don't you care that my *BELOVED* Harry just got dragged down to the bottom of the lake?!?!?  
  
Ron and Draco (and Chickie ~~): No.  
  
Hermione: Oh.  
  
Ron: So what now?  
  
Draco: One more round?  
  
(Chickie ~~ Well, Hermione's still alive….)  
  
Hermione: Uh… why don't we just stop here? He… hehehe… *smiles weakly*  
  
(Chickie ~~ Let's stop now. I'm too lazy to write another chapter anyway)  
  
  
  
A/N: Sorry that it's… well… short. 


End file.
